RoboHen Saves Christmas

PART 1

As soon as RoboHen woke up, he was really worried, because today his arch-enemy, Speeding Shark, had kidnapped Santa Claus, and today was Christmas Eve. The reason RoboHen was worried was because RoboHen somehow had to find a way to rescue Santa Claus and all the 1,000 other reindeer that Speeding Shark had kidnapped, including Rudolph, before nighttime. Otherwise, Speeding Shark would succeed in ruining Christmas.

RoboHen hopped into his RoboJet and flew off to Speeding Shark’s North Pole underwater outpost. As soon as he arrived, RoboHen ran straight towards the Reindeer Dungeon, which held all of the reindeer prisoner. RoboHen immediately realized that the Reindeer Dungeon needed a special key that could only be found in the International Star Wars Bad Guy Space Station. RoboHen would have to first sneak into the lead Super Star Destroyer that was right above the underwater outpost without being caught. Then he would have to sneak into the elevator and press the button that led to the infinityth floor. So then RoboHen hopped into his stealth jet and sneakily flew right into the Super Star Destroyer. He landed in the hangar bay and ran towards the elevator, but he ran so fast that one hundred Stormtroopers attacked RoboHen. Then Darth Vader entered the room and threw RoboHen into the dungeon of the Super Star Destroyer.

Once he was thrown in the dungeon, RoboHen saw a flying shadow in the mirror. He turned around and saw Krang! Krang said, “Mua ha ha HA, RoboHen! We meet again at last!”

RoboHen said, “Oh, no, you don’t, Krang! Look behind you!” Krang turned around, and guess what was behind him?

The Monster! Krang saw him, and the monster picked Krang up and threw him all the way back into Santa’s workshop. Then RoboHen found a secret trap door. When he opened it, he found a secret key, and he used it to open the dungeon. As soon as he escaped from the dungeon, he ran straight to the elevator. He ran into the elevator and pushed the button that led to the infinityth floor. Then, once the elevator had reached the infinityth floor, RoboHen got off, only to find…

Darth Vader! Then Darth Vader attacked RoboHen with his light saber. Then RoboHen got his green light saber and started battling Darth Vader. Right when Darth Vader was about to defeat RoboHen, RoboHen got out his grappling hook and fired it right at a dangling light. Then RoboHen flew high above Darth Vader’s head and pulled a lever. Darth Vader fell through a trap door and straight out of the Darth Vader International Space Station. Then RoboHen continued until he got to the Secret Key Room. But when he opened the door, RoboHen didn’t find a secret key. He found…

TWO Emporers. Then RoboHen said, “TWO Emporers! How can there be TWO of you?”

The Emporers said, “Oh, RoboHen! Don’t you know that there are two of every Star Wars bad guy ever made in the International Star Wars Bad Guy Space Station? And they are all here to destroy you and your friends.”

 RoboHen said, “You and your friends MIGHT be able to destroy me, but do you think you and your friends could destroy the Bumble?”

“Who is the Bumble, RoboHen?”

RoboHen said, “The Bumble is a giant snow monster who collects hundreds of Star Wars bad guys for trophies, and he could easily use a few more to add to his collection.”

The Emporers said, “Sorry, RoboHen, but I think we have to run.”

But then RoboHen got out a tape player and a tape recording. He inserted the tape recording into the tape player and it played the Bumble’s roar: “ROAAAAAR!”

Then the two Emporers were so scared that they jumped right out of the space station and right into the hands of the Bumble, and he threw them into his cave. So then RoboHen quickly ran to the Secret Key Room. RoboHen grabbed the key and ran straight into the control room. He entered the key into the keyhole that said, “Shut down space station.” Once RoboHen turned the key, a loud voice shouted over the intercom, “The International Star Wars Bad Guy Space Station is exploding in ten seconds!”

Then RoboHen was rapidly running around trying to find a way to escape. He grabbed the key and ran straight towards the escape pod. He got into the escape pod and escaped just as the space station exploded.

PART 2

As soon as the escape pod landed, RoboHen got out of the escape pod and ran straight to Speeding Shark’s North Pole Underwater Outpost and once he arrived, he ran straight to the Reindeer Dungeon. Then he fitted the reindeer key into the keyhole and unlocked the Reindeer Dungeon. He freed 991 reindeer, but Santa’s nine reindeer had been captured somewhere else.

As soon as he had freed the reindeer, RoboHen told all of them to go play in the snow at the North Pole. After he did that, RoboHen flew to the Super Star Destroyer, where he was sure there would be a map telling the location of the nine reindeer. Once he arrived, RoboHen ran toward the elevator and pushed the button that said, “Floor 991”.  As soon as he pushed the button, the elevator door closed. When the door opened again and he was on floor 991, guess what RoboHen saw?

He saw (da-da-dum) Speeding Shark! And Speeding Shark said, “Mua-ha-ha, RoboHen! I have you at last! You will never free Santa’s reindeer!”

And RoboHen said, “Speeding Shark! You weren’t supposed to appear in the story until Part 3!”

Speeding Shark said, “Okay, but I just decided I wanted an earlier part so maybe I would have a chance to win this time!”

And just as Speeding Shark was about to kick RoboHen back into the elevator, guess who magically appeared?

YODA! And then Yoda jumped into battle and used the Force and pushed Speeding Shark back into Part 3. And when that happened, Speeding Shark magically disappeared.

And then Yoda disappeared again. RoboHen said, “That Yoda. He never stays in one place!” And then RoboHen ran until he reached the map archives. Once he got into the archives, he entered the combination and ran until he found a new map that had precious diamonds on it. Then RoboHen grabbed the map to finding the nine reindeer. RoboHen found out that the first reindeer was on floor 992, so he ran up the stairs. Once he was on floor 992, RoboHen ran straight towards the Reindeer Dungeon on that floor. He found not one reindeer but eight reindeer. He freed all eight reindeer and told them to go play in the snow. Then RoboHen checked the map, and it said that Rudolph was on the 1000^th floor. So then RoboHen ran up the stairs to the 1000^th floor and ran and ran until he got to the Reindeer Dungeon room and suddenly realized that the prison door needed a special key. RoboHen was wondering where to find the key, and he turned around, only to see…

Speeding Shark!

RoboHen said, “Speeding Shark! You are supposed to be in Part 3!”

Speeding Shark said, “Well, I managed to escape into Part 2.”

And RoboHen yelled, “Yoda! Speeding Shark escaped from Part 3 again!”

And Yoda magically appeared to send Speeding Shark back to Part 3 again.

And then Krang appeared again, and RoboHen realized that Krang was holding the key in his mouth, and 

RoboHen said, “Hand over the key, Krang!”

And then Krang said, “Never!”

RoboHen said, “Okay, Krang, if you won’t give me the key, I guess I’m just going to have to take it from you,” and he used his Stealing-Keys-Out-of-Krang’s-Mouth machine to steal the key out of Krang’s mouth, and then RoboHen put the key into the keyhole, turned the key, and freed Rudolph. He told Rudolph to go play in the snow and have fun.

Rudolph said, “Finally, now all we have to do is free Santa Claus!”

Part 3

RoboHen ran straight to Speeding Shark’s North Pole Underwater Outpost. As soon as he got inside, RoboHen ran down the hallway right into the dungeon room where he thought Speeding Shark had Santa Claus. As it turned out, Santa Claus wasn’t in the dungeon room. Instead, there was a map that showed that Santa was trapped inside the dungeon of the Death Star! So then RoboHen hopped into the RoboJet and flew off to the Death Star. Once he arrived, he ran straight to the Throne Room. But inside the Throne Room he did not see the Emporer or Darth Vader. He saw…

Speeding Shark! He said, “RoboHen, we meet again at last!”

But RoboHen said, “Oh no, we don’t!” And RoboHen ran right to the dungeon. But when he arrived in the dungeon, he did not see Santa Claus. Instead he saw a key. There was a note next to the key that said, “This is the key to Santa’s dungeon. In order to get there, you must first find the secret passageway to the dungeon. The secret passageway is somewhere in the Super Star Destroyer.”

And RoboHen flew off again to the lead Super Star Destroyer. Once he arrived, he ran as fast as he could, but before he could reach the secret passage room, he was met by TWO Darth Vaders.

The two Darth Vaders said, “Mua ha ha, RoboHen, we meet again at last!”

“You’re right… We do,” said RoboHen, “but not for long!” And then he pulled a lever, and a trapdoor opened up underneath the two Darth Vaders. Then they fell through the trapdoor, falling out into space.

RoboHen ran to the secret passage room. Once he was inside, he went looking for a secret passage. He found a giant crate full of maps. He was looking through the maps, and he heard a small voice. “Help! Help!” the voice cried out.

RoboHen heard the voice and he ran towards the big pile of crates where he thought he heard the voice. He moved all the crates to find…

A trapped Luke Skywalker! As it turned out, Speeding Shark had trapped Luke Skywalker there. But then RoboHen turned around and saw…

Krang! And Krang said, “Mua ha ha, RoboHen! We meet again at last!”

And RoboHen asked, “Why do you all keep saying that, Krang?”

And then Krang said, “Because I’m evil, and that’s what evil Krangs do.”

Then RoboHen got out his Krang hammer, which was shaped like Krang, and used it to smash a Krang-shaped hole in the floor. Then RoboHen jumped and sat on Krang so that Krang was pushed through the Krang-shaped hole. Then RoboHen quickly covered up the hole with wood.

Once he found the correct map, he picked it up and found that it showing a path that was leading to the secret passageway. The entrance just so happened to be at the entrance to the Super Star Destroyer. RoboHen realized that before he went down the secret passageway, he probably needed to destroy the Super Star Destroyer first.

But first RoboHen ran back into the map room, got Luke Skywalker and ran with him back to the command room. RoboHen told Luke Skywalker to get to an escape pod. RoboHen hit the self-destruct button of the Super Star Destroyer, and then he hit the Launch All Escape Pods button, and then RoboHen ran into the secret passage just as the Super Star Destroyer exploded.

And then once RoboHen got to the end of the secret passageway, he ran straight into the dungeon room where RoboHen thought he heard Santa. Then RoboHen turned around and ran right towards the farthest back dungeon room. Once RoboHen got there, he got the key out of his pocket, put the key in the lock, turned the key, and freed Santa Claus!

Santa Claus thanked RoboHen for freeing him and asked RoboHen to destroy Speeding Shark’s Arctic Ocean Underwater Outpost before leaving the North Pole. RoboHen told Santa Claus he definitely would remember to, and he told Santa he could go and deliver the presents. Then RoboHen ran straight towards the Underwater Outpost.

Once he got there, he ran straight into the main control room and said, “Well, Speeding Shark, I managed to free Santa Claus, so what are your plans now?”

Speeding Shark said, “Well, I don’t have that many plans, because I’m pretty upset that you stopped me from kidnapping Santa Claus.”

And RoboHen then said, “Well, Speeding Shark, Santa asked me to destroy your Underwater Outpost, and I’m going to do what Santa asked me to.”

Speeding Shark said, “Oh, no, you won’t. I’m going to activate my other Underwater Outpost. And if I have two Underwater Outposts active at once, I can activate my Super Laser, which can destroy an entire hideout at one time.”

Then RoboHen said, “Oh, I don’t think you are going to.”

Speeding Shark said, “Oh, I think I will.”

RoboHen ran into his giant robot room. Then Speeding Shark jumped into his giant robot. Then RoboHen said, “Speeding Shark, I’m not sure you can escape, even with your giant robot.”

Speeding Shark said, “Oh, yes I can.” Speeding Shark’s giant robot ran straight toward RoboHen, but RoboHen jumped out of the way just in time. RoboHen jumped on the giant robot’s back and removed the key. Then RoboHen ran straight to the self-destruct button, pushed it, and then escaped just in time in his RoboJet.

Speeding Shark, of course, also managed to escape.

Then the entire Underwater Outpost exploded.

The End 

A Turbo Jet Adventure

A couple of mischievous hens - RoboHen and BadboHen - were sitting around with nothing to do. Suddenly the Robo Signal sounded. WOOOOP WOOOOP was accompanied by a flashing purple light.

It could mean only one thing. RoboPeacock was a calling a special meeting of all the Robos. Until that moment, RoboHen had assumed it would be a boring June afternoon. This changed everything. BadboHen put down his trashy novel, RoboHen pushed a sequence of buttons on the 101 Things machine, and they zooped to headquarters.

When they got there, RoboPeacock was tapping her foot and writing in the Prisoner Journal. As the new arrivals entered a room full of Robos, she shot them an evil look, so they knew they'd better sit down quietly and listen. "Cancel all your plans for the foreseeable future!" snapped RoboPeacock. She tossed each of them a small model of the Badlands and a metal detector. "Be careful!" she grumped as Badbo Hen almost dropped the metal detector. "Those are fragile!"

She continued, "We are about to undertake a mission that involves travel to a dangerous place - the notorious Badlands, home of the infamous Cheating Cheetah!"

Everyone gasped. But there was no time to lose. "As soon as you leave the Turbo Jet, hop onto the saddle with your name on it," said RoboPeacock. "Cheating Cheetah has escaped capture for the last time - now that we have tagged her with the RoboTag, the supersonic RoboPonies will enable us to nab her using a trusty metal detector." One final warning - we have one shot at this. If you do not aim the metal detector directly at her neck and lasso her immediately, she will escape again and you will be in big trouble."

RoboPeacock threw down her pencil, pointed toward the Turbo Jet, and they all sprang into action. There was total focus as RoboHen pushed the superzoomspeed button, Robo Lion made sure that the wings were level, and BadboHen adjusted the propeller to the proper angle. There was a terrific noise, a whooshing feeling, and then before they had time to blink, the Turbo Jet had landed in a field of cattle.

RoboHen almost got distracted by the fascinating fossils in the canyons that surrounded them, but there was no time. They all heard the furious yowl of Cheating Cheetah, and they sprang into pursuit. They all leaped into their saddles, and relied upon their trusty steeds to choose the right course, as they were unfamiliar with the local landscape. Because it was April, flowers were everywhere, and Cheating Cheetah thought she could hide in a field of dandelions. But RoboHen was too quick for her. He spotted her spots, aimed the metal detector at the fluffy flowers, and hurled his lasso. She let out a wild cry that included every vowel. "Aaaaaeeeeeeiiiiooooouuuuw!" All the other Robos rushed to grab her, put her into the Turbo Jet, and zooped back to Hen Headquarters, where they surrendered their prisoner to RoboPeacock. She was beyond pleased with them and rewarded them all with angel food cake.

A RoboHen Spelling Word Poem Featuring Knives, Forks, and Spoons, Written in Triplets (Sort Of) by RoboMom

RoboHen's mom said, "Please set the table!"
He quickly replied, "As soon as I am able."
"Just now, I am busy watching something on cable."

Worried that she would have to do battle,
RoboHen's mom drank from her bottle
of Diet Dr. Pepper... and she drank a lottle.

Then she hollered, but with a short giggle,
"You get out that silverware before I tickle your middle!"
But that naughty boy did not move a muscle.

"ROBOHEN!" she bellowed. "It's really quite simple.
You must do your chore, or you'll get a nice sample
Of the yelling machine, which might make you tremble!"

Then to drive home her point, she blew on her bugle.
That made RoboHen jump, and not just a little.
It startled him so that he blew out a candle.

He knew at that moment he must get a handle
on his behavior, so he munched on an apple
and ran to the kitchen to find just a single
fork but no knives and no spoons, and a paddle.

"Oh dear," he proclaimed. "I must look in that jungle
that I call my room." So he zipped to that tangle
of clutter and rubble and wondrous inventions.

He found a toy rifle, a cradle, a bridle
And giving a yell, he made one desperate sidle
Behind his train table, where sitting there idle

Were all the utensils told of in the title.

RoboHen's Birthday Thursday

It was the perfect day. RoboHen woke up and clucked happily - it was his birthday and he was in fine spirits. "Hurry up, everyone!" he crowed with excitement. "It's time for birthday things!"

MamaHen heard his delighted crow during her shower and smiled. She was certain RoboHen would have a wonderful day. She gave him his first present at breakfast - a big sturdy bag to hold all his other presents. It was purple, and he loved it. She was a little nervous about the next one, so she counted to thirty before giving it to him. (Perhaps he wouldn't like it.) But of course he did, because it was a turtle! The next present was a birdbath for the turtle to play in - well, it was really a turtlebath. RoboHen was very pleased - "He can drink the water too, if he gets thirsty," he said. He liked the fact that it had more than one purpose.

The next present was also for the turtle. It was a little mermaid statue to decorate the turtlebath. "Wow!" said RoboHen. "You even furnished his habitat!"

He exclaimed even further when he saw the magnificent cake his mom had baked. Every person and animal who came to his party swooned over it. It was so delicious that nobody really had to wash dirty dishes because the guests licked their plates clean. But RoboHen's mom firmly insisted that they go in the dishwasher anyway. "Wow, that's service," said RoboHen.

"It's not every day that my son has a birthday," smiled MamaHen.

"Best birthday Thursday ever!" said RoboHen.

RoboHen Makes Waffles

One day RoboHen declared, "I am a chef. Today I will make waffles."

"Don't worry," he said as he caught a glimpse of his mom's expression. "They will be perfect."

He tossed a quarter cup of oil into the waffle maker and turned it on as MamaHen looked nervous. She quietly placed a heap of squash nearby in hopes that RoboHen would make squash waffles, but he ignored that. His mom decided to watch quietly from the sidelines. She did want to supervise, but she didn't want to look like a prison warden.

Soon the warmth from the waffle iron was heating up the room, and it was time to pour in the batter. Into the bowl went flour, sugar, milk, eggs, a pinch of salt, and a squat little apple cut into chunks.

"I almost forgot!" exclaimed RoboHen. "I must reach into my wardrobe for the proper attire."

"What in the world?" muttered his mom. "Why do you need special clothes to make waffles?"

RoboHen returned from his room looking like quite the Waffle House worker. Then he reached backward to tie up his spiffy apron, adorned with waffle embroidery.

"The waffle warrior is ready to cook!" he exclaimed as he poured the batter into the waffle maker.

Suddenly a swarm of fruit flies rose up around the kitchen. They headed straight for the chunks of apple in the batter.

Just as suddenly, RoboHen's friend Snow, the dwarf donkey, leaped into the kitchen and slurped up all of the fruit flies. "Mmmm," he said happily, "a tasty snack."

"Phew!" said RoboHen. "Well, that was worthwhile. I worship your furry donkey face."

And they all waffled happily ever after.

RoboHen Gets a Haircut

On a sunny afternoon, RoboHen was repairing the 101 Things Machine outside in the yard when his mom came up to him with a no-nonsense look on her face. He barely glanced her way and kept fidgeting with the top widget. "Careful, careful," he muttered to himself as he adjusted the marble whatsit.

"RoboHen!" his mom interrupted. "How can you just carry on when I am clearly standing here waiting for you to notice me?"

"Beware!" said RoboHen. "It is dangerous to interrupt a boy and his tinkering."

But he finally looked up at his mom waiting for him in the garden and gave her his attention. Sometimes one must also beware of impatient parents.

RoboHen's mom guided him past the fairy knoll and toward the TurboJet, which is a fancy kind of airplane. RoboHen was not aware of their destination. He waited, fairly impatiently, for his mom to declare herself. Finally, she said, "We are going to the barber."

So off they flew, over the dairy and the market. RoboHen was in despair. He raked his claws over the TurboJet's carpet in frustration. "I don't want to go see RoboLion the Barber!" he wailed.

"I beg your pardon!" replied his mom. "What kind of a mother do you take me for? I would not take you to a bad-guy barber! I can hardly believe you thought I would do such a thing! We are going to visit his partner instead - RoboBadger."

And in fact, all of RoboHen's fears were unfounded. RoboBadger compared very favorably to his old favorite barber, RoboKitten, and on the way home his mom let them stop by the farmer's market just in time to purchase strawberries from the latest harvest. And all was well.

RoboHen turns an Awful Story into an Awesome Afternoon

It was very awkward. RoboHen's mom just hoped it would turn out all right in the end, but it started out to be an awful day. RoboHen was the author of a silly story about one of his friends. He was always making up stories about people, but usually they didn't get him into trouble. This one did, and for a moment there, RoboHen's mom thought they might need to call a lawyer.

RoboHen was gawking at his friend RoboPeacock's new hat, which was orange with purple stripes and red feathers. He liked it so much that he wrote a story in which a mouse gnawed at the hat. Then the character of RoboPeacock's mom put the hat in the laundry and shrank it. Then, to top it all off, it was accidentally left under the outside faucet, and the orange and purple colors ran together.

While RoboHen was eating an afternoon sausage snack, RoboPeacock came strutting angrily in to the kitchen. Although RoboHen was surprised, he stopped nibbling to find out what was the matter. RoboPeacock had an upset, haunted look on her face. "That hat was flawless! She screamed. And now it is worthless!"

RoboHen tried to explain: "But I already told you that it's just a story! I didn't hurt your real hat," he clucked. "And also, I was trying to be creative."

But RoboPeacock was still bothered. "I bought that hat at a special auction," she lamented. "I was the highest bidder because I really liked it."

RoboHen chose his next words with caution. "I know," he said, "and I am sorry."

His friend almost turned on the yelling machine, but she sensed RoboHen's sincerity and decided not to. It was a beautiful autumn day, perfect for a walk outside with a good friend. RoboPeacock and RoboHen headed out the door, leaving a small saucer of milk for RoboKitten. They made their way to the benches on the hill, where they sat and talked and played all afternoon until thoughts of the offensive story were forgotten.